Re-posting, my very first BARB post. Written on May 23, 2016.
I’ve been thinking a lot about the past and how so much of it parallels my current life. The grrl I was in my twenties felt under-represented in mainstream media, felt frustrated with my lack of career, was constantly hitting a brick wall when it came to romantic relationships as well as trying to find a solid group of real life Friends. The woman I am now seems to have similar themes, so many decades later: I feel under-represented in the media—which now includes the digital landscape—, I’m in career purgatory (a literary agent recently told me a manuscript of mine was “clichéd and dated”), and I seem to go on an endless array of inconsequential dates with men I meet online. The one thing in my life as a woman in her 50s that does not parallel with my life as a baby Gen X-er is that my circle of friends is solid. At least I got that right.
It occurred to me some months ago that instead of griping about how I have to go to Jezebel for my feminist snark and New York Magazine for my daily NY fix, and the New York Times for my taste of intellectualism, I ought to consider starting a platform that combined all of my interests—parenting and sex and fashion and rock n roll and information and shopping and yadda yadda yadda. And that’s what you will start to see before you, in the coming days and weeks and months: BARB.
Why BARB, for Ladies Like Us? I wanted a title that had a double entendre, that epitomized the bad-ass-bitch-with-a-soft-spot-for-what-and-who-we-like that we all are. I wanted a title that had a woman’s name, a name that was strong and powerful and represented my inner cool chick. I wanted BARB.
Part of what I’d like to do with BARB is explore where we are at, so to speak, as women over 40. I have so many questions, still. Beyond what is the meaning of life. More practical ones, like do I really need to have a Roth IRA? If I’m dating one person for five months casually, do I need to cancel my OK Cupid account? How many times a week should I be going to the gym for cardio? I long for a community of like-minded women that I can lean on, that can advise me, that I can offer an ear to. I need BARB in my life. That’s why I’m here, trying this out.
And so I ask you: Are you a lady like us?
Are you a lady who likes clothes and shoes and bags and cosmetics and baking and laying on the couch?
Are you a lady holding down a job or two, including the work that goes into running your household?
Are you a lady who likes Top 40 and also 90s era indie music and also, Bey?
Are you a lady who thinks of Sassy as the one that got away?
A lady with a life where numbers like 401K, 529C, Stage 4 mean something to you?
A lady determined to have one more threesome?
A lady with economic power, social distortion, mid-life mishegas?
A lady in the midst of The Change?
A lady who struggles with reading small type, whose cellulite has migrated to the front of her thighs, who owns her batwings with pride?
A lady who is intimately acquainted with her take out menu drawer?
A lady who is visibly older yet living the life of her inner girl?
A lady who watches Girls and is thankful her twenties are a distant memory?
A lady who is alive, inside and out?
A lady who slightly yearns for the male gaze?
A lady in the midst of a dry spell, a sexual awakening, a constant array of Tinder moments?
A lady with a compelling Snapchat story?
A lady raising child(ren), living with child(ren), constantly wondering about said child(ren)?
A lady who is a queen and a king?
A lady who is child-free?
A lady embracing her empty nest?
A lady who has found her life partner, a lady who’s suddenly single, a lady who is years-since being touched?
A lady who is cis? Trans? Bi? Queer? Not sure? In exploration?
A lady who feels anger and fear and lust and joy and still wonders when she’s going to figure it all out?
IF YOU ANSWERED YES TO ANY OF THE ABOVE OR HAVE SOMETHING TO ADD, WELL THEN….
YOU ARE A LADY LIKE US.
WELCOME TO BARB.
A DIGITALLY NATIVE WEBSITE FOR WOMEN OVER 40.
LIFESTYLE. SEX. INFORMATION. OTHER THINGS TOO.