Thursday BARB Up April 20, 2017

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And now it’s time for another edition of a Day In The Life….

I wake up in the best mood. The previous night, The Teenager hosted her monthly stand up show, We Hope YOU Have Fun at UCB East. I love working on this show, booking the comics, watching everyone’s act. It’s literally my favorite night of the month; I’m a comedy nerd. On this particular night, we had Gianmarco Soresi, Jena Friedman, Lane Moore and Judah Friedlander. I’ve met everyone on the job as it were, and I’ve become friends with the women in a deeply connected way. Seeing them briefly reminds me always I need to spend more time seeing them for quality time. Judah closed the show, with a round of questions from the audience. One person asked, “Are you the guy from 30 Rock?” Judah, always so quick, replied, “Yes, I’m Alec Baldwin.” What a night. And then I met up with my friends and before I knew it, it was 2am. Still. Now it’s 7am, and Rocky is looking directly at me. He wants to eat. I take a quick photo of his face and Instagram it. Get out of bed. Carry him off. Feed him. Make The Teenager’s lunch. Get in the shower. While in the shower, The Teenager asks me about the shoe selection for her outfit; it’s important, as she’s wearing almost-bell bottoms jeans. I try to review, grabbing my glasses but they get fogged up. I’m unable to see without corrective lens. So she laughs, “Oh Mom”‘s me and leaves the bathroom. I’m glad she’s in a good mood too; yesterday, in between prepping for the show and doing her homework, she submitted the last round of edits for her book, Earth Hates Me. It’s a great weight lifted off her shoulders. Get out of the shower. Towel off. Get dressed. The Teenager is already gone, off to school. Take Rocky for a walk. We’d noticed when we returned from Providence, Rhode Island on Monday night that Rocky seemed out of sorts, depressed almost. Maybe it’s all the traveling The Teenager and I have been doing. He gets anxious being separated from us. Right now, he seems fine, but I’m still concerned. I don’t make him walk up or down the nine flights of stairs as I usually do; yes, our elevator is still out of service, has been since October. We have to walk up and down one flight of steep stairs to get to the service elevator. It’s okay for me and my knees but there are plenty of people of all ages in this building who are finding the situation unbearable. Even Rocky is feeling it. It’s only 8:30am now and I have a lot to do today. I don’t dawdle. I grab my things, kiss Rocky goodbye, and head for the subway. Not too crowded this morning. I get off on Franklin Street, and walk into the serenity of Gotan. I order a scrambled egg, and iced tea. I pick up a chocolate croissant for The Teenager, to pack in her lunch for tomorrow. Find a table by the window. Start working. I have myriad emails to answer. While on the road looking at colleges, I had no time to do the work I needed for myself, writing in particular. I also need to comb through the photos I took last night at the show and post them. And I need to deal with some things in regard to The Teenager. I get to it. I daydream a little. Notice a few 90’s era supermodels walk by. At noon, I wrap up. I have a lunch appointment a few blocks away. I walk out of Gotan; the weather’s changed, it’s colder now. Oh, Spring. Lunch is delightful, I eat some pasta, catch up with my colleague who is about to do great things. I’m happy for her. I’m always happy for my friends who do things for themselves. It’s 2pm. I need to be at Long Island University at 4. So I have some time to kill. By now, the news of the Beast O’Reilly has hit the internet. I hunker down at a Starbucks and read how the wives of the Murdoch clan influenced the decision to oust this monster. I know who this kind of man is; I’ve worked around him, with him. I know how impossible it is to convince an HR team that there is a predator on the floor. I know how difficult it is as a woman on the come-up to speak to and about the situation to deaf ears. I know how entitled this man, and his ilk, become as they continue to prowl. There are men like O’Reilly everywhere, in every pocket of industry, men who are not famous, men who don’t have this kind of money, men who do have this power over the women who work for or around them. Men who call women “toots” and other terms. I hope women everywhere continue to speak up and out. Continue to stand up for themselves. Continue to fight. Every man can be held accountable. Whether by a jury of his peers, or by you. At 3, I get on the subway to LIU. Get there on time. Today, I’m speaking to college students about my career; they are interested in branding, production, photography. I have in my career, touched on all aspects. It takes me 45 minutes to go through my “journey.” My favorite part is the question and answer section. They’ve been taking notes, even the fella who fell asleep for a moment. They’ve been listening. I appreciate their interest, their questions. I answer every question: Why do interns only get coffee? How did you balance work and life? How do I explain what branding is to my mom? Every student has a question. The only true piece of advice I give them is this: Don’t burn bridges. That is, be nice to everyone you work for. When you’re being yelled at or have to go on a fifth run to bring talent a script, stay with your Game Face on. Think the thoughts I’m Better Than This but don’t say them out loud. Make sure everyone you work for has your information. The more cooperative you are, the more you will be remembered as someone they want to hire when they need a person. Make that person be you. I can tell they are hearing the lesson of staying nice, of not burning bridges. I leave. I’m close to my friend Diana Kane’s store. I’m running low on my supply of RBG, Patti Smith, and Hillary buttons. I drop by there. Load up on my supply. Make plans with Diana. I head home. I get to the apartment by 6:45pm. The Teenager is not home, she has a social justice class downtown she’s attending for 8 weeks. I drop my things. Walk Rocky. And then, I tend to my night.

Kirsten Gillibrand: “If we had 51% of women in Congress, do you think we’d be debating access to contraception? Do you think we would be debating whether to have paid leave? Do you think it would be so hard to end sexual assault on college campuses?”

Rashida Jones: “You look at your phone and you’re adding things to your Amazon cart, then you go over to your Tinder app and you’re swiping through, you’re shopping for clothes, and you’re looking at memes…we just treat everything like these little icons. So you lose all that humanity that’s behind the person in the picture because it’s all designed to make us swipe through it.”

Emma Frost: “Oh, some guy in a baseball cap can direct a first movie and then, hey, lets give him an action movie! That doesn’t happen for female directors, for a female showrunner. I’m not a showrunner; I’m a female show runner. I’m like an adjunct, an other.”

Ding dong the witch is dead.

What make you beautiful.

Watching what’s happening in France and with Marie LePen.

For $8,500, you too can own this pink watch.


Amanda Lepore has a book out.

Calvin Klein putting older women in undies.

Sex stuff.

People DO find love via Tinder!

I’m so ready for season 3 of Kimmy Schmidt.

And now have a laugh with Elayne Boosler.


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