When you’re raising a child on your own, I have found that people have a lot of advice to dole out. Why is that? Do people (and I don’t just mean my Mom although obviously she falls into this people pile) think that women and men who are solo parents are completely incapable of making decisions when it comes to their offspring? Yes, I suspect, that’s a part of it. There is an impression, I believe, that one can only parent in a team. Clearly, I don’t believe that. Clearly, I have raised a child on my own. ClearlyI have done so on the terms dealt—rampant unemployment, committed bachelorette hood, inadequate kitchen. I have done all that I could to provide a safe and stable home for her. Still. The so-called advice keeps on coming. From the time she was a baby until this day. As a parent, I would on occasion, look to the women I did admire, like my friend Maren, who parented with aplomb for tips on how to do things. But in terms of instilling values and such? That’s not something I look to others for direction. Nor should you. You ought to parent to your child—your child or children are wired so uniquely, it takes their own parent to parent them, not the people who wander in and out of their lives. It took me a minute to realize this. But now I know. I’m the only lifeguard on duty and I take my job seriously. If I need help, I will ask for the life vest. Promise.
Gloria Steinem: “I never gave up hope. I have never seen such activism in my life. It’s a thousand times anything I’ve ever seen.”
Jessica St. Clair is a survivor.
The quintessential BARB woman, she is.
I want to read Jessica Harris‘s memoir.
Continuing to applaud Sally Yates!
Jill Soloway: “I Love Dick is a show that’s specifically meant to take on the patriarchy and was conceived in a world where we assumed we were going to have our first female president.”
Embracing a new culinary palate.
Fashion is Inclusive.
Maria Bamford: “We have a lot of sex. A lot of fudging and wedging and lotions and potions and unguents and poultices, jams and jellies. Custards, mustards, sauces, souses, foam soups, smoothing milks.”
(Trying) to break up with your shrink.
Rich people problems.
And now have a laugh with Wanda Sykes.
photo credit: Mindy Tucker