I’ve talked about women supporting each other in previous posts. It is however a never ending conversation. This is the friendship edition. For the friendships that are healthy. The ones in distress, well, I’ll do that one some other time. Here we go.
How to support your friends, the ones that are female.
Lend her your ear. When your friend–the one who chose to move to the mountains and raise farm animals and has cool-ass braids and so many kids you’ve lost track of what their names are–texts you and says she’s having a bad day, do more than emoji back a sad face. Ask her what is going on. And allow her to tell you all the things she possibly can. Women need to be heard by the women they trust.
Go Blondie on her and call her. Oh yes, every so often, use the phone. Hearing your voice can sometimes brighten up a day. And sometimes, just sometimes, it’s easier than texting for hours on end.
Avoid getting Judge Judy-ish. Uh-huh, you know what I mean. Every so often, our lips purse in judgment. Loosen those lips, ladies. Let your friend be your friend. You may not be copacetic with her choice in partners or food groups; that’s cool, agree to disagree, like that. Your friend needs to know too things really from you: Are her panty lines offensive and does she have lipstick on her teeth. Beyond that, supporting your friend is what you need to do. Judging is not a part of the equation
Give a girl a break. Is your friend raising a daughter on her own? Does your friend someone manage to always burn her quesadilla? Will your friend ever go deep sea diving with her boyfriend? If you have a friend that seems to need a little TLC, be her Left-Eye. Offer to watch the kid while your friend runs errands. Take her for a cuppa coffee. Take your friend for a Zumba class. Sometimes, when women are running their lives, they forget to take the time to breathe. Be the breath of fresh air your friend needs.
Bestow Treats. You know what? It’s nice to get flowers from a friend. Most of us don’t ever get a bouquet of anything. Every so often, show up to dinner with your good friend with an extra something–a Magic Wand, a box of Godiva, a pair of baby hands. That thoughtfulness? That’s a deep level of support. That goes a long way.
Doris Payne is a badass.
So is Eileen Zimmerman.
As are the Republican women who said no to the repeal of the Affordable Care Act.
Lori Day: “Let’s stick together. Let’s make a conscious effort to stop putting down older women to set oneself apart from them and from an inevitable form of bigotry that cannot presently be escaped. Whatever you think of Madonna at 56, or Jamie Lee Curtis at 56, let’s acknowledge that most of us will one day be 56, if we aren’t already, and we’ll want to define for ourselves what that means.”
I knew it! (Looking at my monitor is a soul suck!)
What is this spotting of the blood?
If you can afford it, have a gap year!
When, as a New Yorker, you’re stuck on a subway.
What else is there to do? Oh, so much.
Are snake dreams about sex?
And now have a laugh with a Closer Look.