I hope you are using condoms. I don’t believe we are in a sexual revolution; I think that it’s simply easy to find sex. That the dating apps, which make it so easy to shop for humans, allow for a fluid exploration of sexual identity and behavior. It’s been my experience since joining the dating app world in the summer of 2015, that I’ve had a great deal of exposure to a panoply of idiots looking for a shortcut to the game of fucking. I’ve met maybe three people in the old school way–at a party, in a bar, through a friend—that have turned into viable relationships, men looking for connection and eventually (and inevitably) fucking, but beyond those people? Every one else has made their way to me via a digital component. Swiping is a go-to; if insomnia seizes me, I can do some low-impact browsing instead of going to Zappos. And really, dating? It’s a chore. From who is picking up the tab (come on, really? I need to reach for my wallet when I’ve just listened to you whine about how much you work?) to the amount of weighing whether we will or we won’t, it’s work, the kind of work you need to be committed to to endure. Dating leads to something more-than. Not sex. Sex is low-expectation, medium level reward. And it’s easy to have. Even if you are a man, you can get laid in this era of swiping. Yes, there may be the complications of roommates and minors, but it’s still quite easy to get off with another body. Which is why practicing the rules of safe sex is imperative to one’s health. The refrain, “But I was just tested!” is just that. It doesn’t matter how recent a person has been tested, there is always this sobering fact: men are not tested for HPV; it’s so easy to contract, that I don’t know many women who do not have it. So. Fuck all you want. And use the condoms. They are the final frontier to your health.
Empower your daughters with humor.
Is she Melania or isn’t she?
Channing Tatum reacts.
No more Chelsea Handler weekly show on Netflix.
Plasma and stuff.
Say what now, Nivea?
And now have a laugh with Lynn Koplitz.