Friday BARB UP October 27, 2017

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I wrote this in February and I’m re-posting it because.

Being an ex is can be tricky if you don’t have a healthy approach to the way things ended; my last break up was tough on me. It took me months to recover. Still, when I am in between relationships, I spend some of time—not a lot mind you—thinking about the last person I was involved with. He’s the last frame of reference I have to being at-arms-length intimate with. And I don’t wax poetic about the ex, it’s more…thoughtful than that. I’ll see a book by an author he revered and my first thought will be to take a photo of it and send it to him. I’ll hear a phrase he used that is coming out of someone else’s mouth and do a double take. I’ll swipe on the dating apps and see him there and know, he’s still as lonely as I am. I don’t have the impulse to reconcile, I don’t miss him, I don’t really want any sincere engagement; I just like swimming in the thoughts. They’re comforting. To me, at least. Because at some point, another person enters the picture. And I move on. And then all my thoughts, the trite and the sincere, go in this very one swirl of a direction. And that, well, that’s comforting too.

I love this idea, thought, of texts you’d want to send your ex. Some of them are just gold, like this one: “I should have hit you harder with my car.”

Gloria Steinem and Jane Fonda must watch.

Lindy West, like me, takes umbrage with Megyn Kelly.

Jessica Morgan, the Nathalie de Gunzburg director at Dia Art Foundation: “We’re placing female artists working at that time alongside their peers where they should be.”

Cindy Gallop is as close to a hero as one gets.

I didn’t know there was such a thing as Italian feminism but there is and it’s failing.

So, your teenager asks you if you smoked, dropped, tripped. What do you say?

When you don’t poop.

Tampons are not a priority for men in government. Thank goodness for Dana Marlowe and her work with Support The Girls, where they take your donations of feminine hygiene products and bras and donate to women in need.

And now have a laugh with Caroline Rhea.


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