Tuesday BARB UP March 6, 2018

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I posted this last week, and it disappeared. So I’m posting it again. Also, The Teenager is sick and I’m up, by the hour, checking her forehead. Also, because I’m ME, I lean in a little to listen to her breath. I find it calming. 😉

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On parenting. I read a quote recently, and I’m paraphrasing, where the parent was shocked things would be as it was. She was referring to the moodiness of a teenager. I was actually surprised. Are we as adults so out of touch with our own memories of what we were like as teenagers? How is that possible? Do you not remember how you much you hated curfew, or how hard you had to fight for the right to drive your mom’s car or how you wished, oh so desperately, for your Dad to just Shut The Fuck Up? Do you not remember how you felt the first time the object of your affection blew you off, or when the person you thought was your best friend told everyone that one thing you told her not to tell anyone? I didn’t need to read Untangled to know what I was entering when my daughter became a teenager; I just referenced the library of my memories. I thought about the girl I was, frightened and alone so much of the time, searching for answers, given my circumstances. I remember the access I had to my anger when I turned twelve. I remember so clearly realizing my parents were fallible, that some of their ways were not necessarily going to work for me. I remember pining, I remember feeling broken hearted, I remember feeling defiant. I remember breaking the rules. I remember so much of it. I know the Teenager is not wired as I was as a teen and I know that I have chosen to raise her in the way I have done so because I learned so much from the way I was raised. She may not know how to boil water (nor did I) when she heads off to college, but I know she knows how to voice her opinion and I know she knows how to care for others. I did not have a rocky road in raising my Teenager—other than my own personal downfalls, such as losing my job when she was 15, and really, that has been tough, not having the resources to provide—because I remembered so clearly, and I used those memories to help guide me as a parent. I know it can be difficult to relate to a teenager when you’re middle aged and worried about your 401K plan, but if you try to see the world through their eyes, you may have a fighting chance on getting through the teen years without too many battle scars.

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I’ve always enjoyed the work of the filmmaker Agnes Varda.

Cecile Richards: “I Want to Fight For Women.”

Chirlane McCray: “Women can speak for themselves. When we do, people should listen.”

Norma Kamali: “You must be passionate, driven, courageous, and willing to work more than you thought imaginable.”

Teachers in West Virginia are striking. YES.

For migraine sufferers and also, Jeff Spicoli fans.

Let’s play Would You Rather.

Sex stuff.

And now have a laugh with Tiffany Haddish.

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