Thursday BARB UP April 19, 2018

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How Do You Stay In Touch With Your Friends? Is it important to you, to keep up? It is to me. A few years ago, I bumped into a friend I hadn’t seen in awhile, he was having lunch with a colleague, they were lingering in the lobby, saying their goodbyes. At the time, he was working with my best friend, and I’d get the occasional update from my best friend, how our mutual friend was doing. I’d spent so many nights, working closely with this man, tucked away in an edit session, when editing was linear, my ideas spilling out of me, he taking them, turning them into gold. When we were child-free. As we hugged goodbye, we promised we’d make time to have lunch, have a proper catch up; we’d only had time in the hallway to share photos of our daughters. A few weeks later, my best friend rang me up and told me our friend had passed away. He was the first of my friends to die, from natural causes. I was devastated. It occurred to me too, that I needed a better system of staying connected to people. I made a commitment to myself: to keep up with the people in my life. I don’t mean chasing rainbows; I mean, holding onto the people I loved, revered, cherished. Not taking friendship for granted has changed my life. My faraway friends know the minutiae of my life; the beauty of whatsapp makes efficiency and confession a lovely pair. I may not see my friends who live further away, but we are connected. For my friends who live in the same city as I do, however, seeing them is a sporadic venture, and I understand it, I know that the juggle is real—work gets in the way, partners take priority, even the uptown/downtown divide is a barrier. Texting has changed the landscape of connection; it’s so easy to send someone a bitmoji, let them know they are on your mind. For me, it’s filled with meaning. It’s not that difficult, really, to stay connected. As we age, we run out of time, quite literally.  That first friend to pass away is a sobering reality: we are finite. What’s important is making the time to connect. And so, I will keep keeping up with my friends—through email, through texting, through phone calls, even IRL. For I never want to miss that chance I have, ever again.

RIP Barbara Bush.

Isabella Rossellini: “I knew I was not an ideal woman, but I suggested something that allowed people to complete their fantasies.”

Mayim Bialik: “What do I do now? I do what all women do. One step at a time, one day at a time, see what Mother Nature has in store for me.”

Damn straight she’s guilty.

A nod to an early adapter.

“Am I A Good Mom?” is a question most of us moms ask of ourselves. Can scientists give us an answer?

WTF is a relationship contract?

Best friends share everything.

Feeling this citrus salad, major.

And now have a laugh with Beth Stelling.


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