Wednesday BARB UP August 8, 2018

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In the middle of The Teenager’s first week home. Diving back in her life, I watch from my couch. Her long legs sun-kissed, her hair flowing, her outfits cute, coming in through the out door. It’s hot here in New York, the apartment is kept cool, she’s comfortable. Sleeping well, soundly. When I cup her face in my hand, she smiles, in her sleep, maybe she’s half-awake, I don’t know. She feels so perfect in my hand, her skin so soft, her breath so steady. She’s fond of a sunnyside up with a buttered bagel for breakfast. On the first day, on Sunday, it takes me several attempts to get it right, that yolk not runny, the butter not brown, the white symmetrical. Her appetite is present, insistent. Her manners, impeccable, “please,” “thank you,” used plate put in sink. She’s home. Her room, gently tussled. Her suitcase was unpacked within moments of being home. She brought home for me, a thick brown leather belt, intricate detailed etched in the sturdy leather, buckle silver and 70’s hip. On our last trip together, at the end of the long weekend, she said, jokingly, “Mom, if I have to see your butt crack one more time…” The belt, homage to her impatience, as well as love. Familiar faces appear, her friends, the ones that matter. Her laughter gentle, her fingernails womanly, her smile effervescent. The daily invitation to sit on her bed, sit with her while eating, sit with me on my perch, and give me her download, what she’s feeling and thinking and doing, the plans she has for college, for the evening, for the day. She leaves for college now in 18 days. Every moment with her is precious, is part of this fabric, I’m so happy she’s home.

Rita Moreno and that infamous duet.

Beyonce: “To this day my arms, shoulders, breasts, and thighs are fuller. I have a little mommy pouch, and I’m in no rush to get rid of it. I think it’s real. Whenever I’m ready to get a six-pack, I will go into beast zone and work my ass off until I have it. But right now, my little FUPA and I feel like we are meant to be.”

Tina Knowles Lawson: “I saw those dancers and all those well-dressed black folks…It made me want to get out of my little town and have a bigger world.”

Laverne Cox: “I can’t tell you how many people I’ve met over the years who said, “I didn’t think it was possible for me to be an actor, and then I saw you on TV.” Now there’s a generation of trans kids coming up who think that it’s possible for them to be openly trans and actually have a career as an actor.”

On menopause.

Snakes in a library.

Sex stuff.

And now have a laugh with Kerry Coddett.



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