I read a quote recently, and I’m paraphrasing, where the parent was shocked things would be as it was. She was referring to the moodiness of a teenager. It struck me as surprising, that she would be shocked. Are we as adults so out of touch with our own memories of what we were like as teenagers? How is that possible? Do you not remember how you much you hated curfew, or how hard you had to fight for the right to drive your mom’s car or how you wished, oh so desperately, for your Dad to just Shut The Fuck Up? Do you not remember how you felt the first time the object of your affection blew you off, or when the person you thought was your best friend told everyone that one thing you told her not to tell anyone? I didn’t need to read any books on raising teenagers to know what I was entering when my daughter became a teenager; I just referenced the library of my memories. I thought about the girl I was, frightened and alone so much of the time, searching for answers, given my circumstances, that familiarity I had with the belt. I remember the access I had to my anger when I turned twelve. I remember so clearly realizing my parents were fallible, that their thinking would not necessarily work for me. I remember pining, I remember feeling broken hearted, I remember feeling defiant. I remember breaking the rules. I remember so much of it. I know the Teenager is not wired as I was as a teen and I know that in raising her, I’ve had to course-correct my wiring, in order to help her jump from one lilypad of teen angst to another. I have chosen to raise her in the way I have done so because I learned so much from the way I was raised, and what didn’t work for me. She may not know how to boil water (nor did I), but I know she knows how to voice her opinion and I know she knows how to care for others and she now knows how to do laundry. I did not have a rocky road in raising my Teenager—other than my professional hiccups, such as losing my job when she was 15, and really, that has been tough, not always having the resources to provide—because I remembered so clearly, and I used those memories to help guide me as a parent. I know it can be difficult to relate to a teenager when you’re middle aged and worried about your 401K plan, but if you try to see the world through their eyes, you may have a fighting chance on getting through the teen years without too many battle scars.
Happy Birthday Gloria.
Karen Uhlenbeck, I bow to you.
Catherine O’Hara: “When we were doing SCTV and someone would say, “What about this person? You want to play them in a scene? You want to do her?” If I didn’t like them, I wouldn’t play them. It takes too much of my time and energy.”
Christy Metz: “A lot of people think of success happening overnight but for me, it took a lot longer. And it’s only been 3 years, but when you think of this in the grand scheme of life, it’s really not a long time.”
If you care, here’s a Mueller report thing.
A case of fetus-in-fetu.