I’ve talked about women supporting each other in previous posts. A never ending conversation. You need your friends. Not every one of your friends has to be a best friend, which is one of the many wonderful things about friendship, it’s not an exclusive treaty; we can have a close circle of confidantes, from different areas of our lives. I count on my friends, to be my friend. So many of us have our own troubles. We have families—whether they are our children or our elderly parents or our having to confront our dysfunctional siblings— and we have careers—some of us in cruising level, some of us being shut out (hello! Ageism)—and we have, oh, everything to deal within ourselves. Still. Sometimes your girlfriends needs YOU. Here’s a little five-point reminder of how to support your girlfriends.
- Be There. When your friend–the one who chose to move to the mountains and raise farm animals and has cool-ass braids and so many kids you’ve lost track of what their names are–texts you and says she’s having a bad day, do more than emoji back a sad face. Ask her what is going on. Allow her to tell you all the things she possibly can. Your being there is what she needs.
- Pick Up The Damn Phone. I’m a bit sick of texting instead of speaking. Don’t apologize for not calling your friend back in a text, pick up the damn phone! Oh yes, every so often, use the phone. Hearing your voice can sometimes brighten up a day. And sometimes, just sometimes, it’s easier than texting for hours on end.
- No Judging. Uh-huh, you know what I mean. Every so often, our lips purse in judgment. Loosen those lips, ladies. Let your friend be your friend. You may not be copacetic with her choice in partners or food groups; it doesn’t matter. She needs you, right now. Judging is not a part of the equation.
- Give Your Girl A Break. Is your friend raising a daughter on her own? Does your friend somehow manage to always burn her quesadilla? Will your friend ever go deep sea diving with her boyfriend? If you have a friend that seems to need a little TLC, be her Left-Eye. Offer to watch the kid while your friend runs errands. Take her for a cuppa coffee. Take your friend for a spin class. Sometimes, when women are running their lives, they forget to take the time to breathe. They lose the ability to ask for help. Even when they’re in trouble. Be the breath of fresh air your friend needs.
- Bestow Treats. You know what? It’s nice to get flowers from a friend. Most of us don’t ever get a bouquet of anything. Every so often, show up to dinner with your good friend with an extra something–a Magic Wand, a box of Godiva, a pair of baby hands. That thoughtfulness? That’s a deep level of support. That goes a long way.
Alfre Woodard: “The real lead, the power of a pride, that thing that we fear, the fierceness of a lion, it is all the lioness.”
Julie Louis-Dreyfus: “Doing this “Veep” thing for the last eight years has been actually a massive part of my life. And it’s been incredibly hard work, but it’s been incredibly buoying. It was something that I really kept my sights on when I was going through my cancer romp.”
America Ferrara: “So, it isn’t in spite of the diversity, it’s because of the diversity that we are allowed to do what the show does really well.”
An ode to Orange is the New Black.
I still want to host a podcast, so whatev.
Listen, ebola never went away.
And now have a laugh with Amber Ruffin & crew.