Wednesday May 19 2021

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From January 2020 until yesterday, I spoke to my Mom on the phone every day sometimes a few times a day. I sent her an IPad so we could FaceTime, because I wanted to see her, and we did so most days, sometimes looping in my daughter. Yesterday, I finally stepped off a plane for the first time since I don’t know when, got into a taxi and got taken to my Mom’s apartment, a shrine essentially to her children and grandchildren, photos of us all adorning the walls and fridge and tables. It’s been glorious. It was a long hug, filled with laughter and relief. We have gone to Target twice already, we have been doing evening walks around the complex she lives in, and during the day, while I work, she tends to the day to day of her life. I’m so grateful to be here, I’m so happy to see her, I’m so lucky we are both still standing. It’s been a lonely year for us both, alone so much of the time, careful, really. The alone-ness is a frightening thing sometimes and I am so glad we were always able to facetime each other when it got darker rather than lighter. Anyway. Now we are together, and will enjoy these few days we are so, goofing around and Just being in each other’s presence and so very much not alone.

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