My daughter wrote a book. Own it. Gift it. Do all the things.

A few months ago, a would-be suitor challenged me, wanting to know what marching in January did for women? Were we better off? Was it worth it, is what he asked. For me, the great misnomer of Feminism is not that (come on Megyn Kelly, you’re smarter than that to believe that’s what the F-word means); no, for me, the great misnomer about Feminism is that it will solve all the ills that pertain to women. In BARBing for the last eleven months, and reading article after how feminism has failed us or oh yes, that time we decided as a global entity to march for women, an overarching theme is: Is this what Feminism has wrought you?

I believe this is what is referred to as “negging.”

One Women’s March is not going to solve the overarching issues of pay gap, misogyny, intersectionality. It’s going to take an ongoing effort on the part of every willing human being to affect change. Your interpretation of the definition of feminism—and the definition can vary depending on which dictionary you read or what search engine you use—allows you to have an informed opinion of whether you are a feminist or not. In this very sweet video, a 7 year-old explains (to Amy Poehler) what a feminist is, and to this day and for me, it is interpretation of the word I abide by: that girls and boys are of equal value.

If you want all the ills in the world of women to be solved, you’ll be sorely disappointed. Being a Feminist doesn’t affect the setting you choose on your toaster. Being a Feminist won’t matter when the Object of Your Affection doesn’t call you like she/he said she/he would. Being a Feminist doesn’t come into play when you can’t tear yourself away from Leah Remini’s Scientology show on A&E. But. Being a Feminist will thrust you to run for office, because you know it’s possible, because other women have done so before you, and will do so after you. Being a Feminist is the lip snarl to your indignation when a stranger tells you to smile, to know that you can decide what to do with your body, what you feel like when you write your hashtag me too. Being a Feminist is working when a hiring manager can see that you are of equal value to the male applying for the same job. Being a Feminist begins at your core, that you know you are of equal value. And from within, you begin to chip away at the particulars of the bigger picture.

If you would like to affect change for women, pick an issue, there are so many we need to be fighting for. A short list: “ERA. Pro-choice. Funding for breast/cervical cancer screenings/research. Domestic violence. Sexual abuse. Mean girl-ism. The male gaze. The glass ceiling. Women’s health care. Pre-natal, post, all of it. WIC. Subsidized child care. Education. Employment. Social security. Women in government. Women in the sex industry. Stay-at-home women.” Or whatever cause you feel best suited for, most interested in. And tackle it. Make the change happen.

Just please don’t sit back and shake your head, already calling the shots of defeat. Because we’re fighting for our lives and we need you, everyone of you. Women and men.

Shalita Grant: “I believe in the good of people, which is why I talk about social justice so much.”

Cate Blanchett: “Women like looking sexy, but it doesn’t mean we want to fuck you. No one says to Steve Bannon, ‘You look like a bag of trash. Do you want me to throw you out?’”

Dulce Sloan as God. Hell yes.

New Lady Parts by Stacey Conde is up, this week featuring Chris Rios! Talk about getting physical!

Sears is reviving its catalogue. If you are a Baby Boomer or Gen X-er and your heart is still warm, this will make you smile. Oh nostalgia.

Sade tattoos are very popular. That is, getting yourself ink’ed with the iconic facade of the great artist Sade.

It’s the season of the witch!

The Love Map Project is super sweet.

I’m feeling very attracted to these plum  wool runners from All Birds.

And now have a laugh with Amber Ruffin and Jenny Hagel.